In as much as there were so many celebrity sightings in the fair, I'd like to write about Macrocosm using the same showbiz flare.

BLINDITEM #1: Who is this bandaid who met rockstar R.B. of band R.M.? She asked for an autograph and expected the typical, trivial, run-of-the-mill message rockstars write. She was just ecstatic when, after much prodding, he wrote something more than the usual. Albeit the message isn't serious, bandaid has a blast showing off her id with the unusually personal autograph.

BLINDITEM #2: The same bandaid assisted rising rock group S.C. She was surprised to find out that the lead singer Y.Y. is really nice and makes an effort to accomodate everyone even after a tiring, sweat inducing performance. Who is this lead singer with no star complex? Before going on stage, bandaid and Y.Y. even had a minute's worth of conversation. (Like it matters, noh?)
CLUE: If you went to the Ateneo concert last week, you will vouch for the fact that Y.Y. is the newest image model... of Islander slippers. Robin Padilla's reign as model of the slippers brand is over!

BLINDITEM #3: Still referring to the same bandaid mentioned in the previous items... She was on all time high when the guitarist of another rock band S.W. gamely posed for pictures (note the plurality) in between songs. This guitarist is relatively unknown because all attention is on lead singer M.A. Who is this unassuming, drool worthy guitarist?

This should be a no-brainer!

There really are some things you learn in high school only. What follows is a rundown of how far I've gone.

Year I- Cadillac padyak... I could have joined the ranks of milo boy aka taong grasa (regular math joke!) after having made and broken my own world record- brisk walking while panting/running from school to the mall in 5 minutes flat!

Time is inclusive of near death experiences: crossing Pasay road in the middle of a green light and countless cars that almost hit me.

Year II- The difference between a clam and a mussel... This was fatal ignorance for me. That was our IP topic and since none of my groupmates knew the difference, we totally screwed up. This also marked the beginning of my higher learning in the art of making IPs.

Year III- Mastering the art of cramming and multi-tasking...Be it in making a life size math teacher out of paper or studying for a test, WE have crammed it all. It was a year of juggling acts. I also learned how to chow down a 2 piece chicken meal with rice, extra gravy and iced tea while riding in a car that was running at 60 kph! No mess, no stains, no spills!

Year IV- Everything else... My most favorite lessons being those on expectations and love and dreams and life...

Sometimes, the most important lessons are best learned while sporting a see-through blouse and wearing socks that feel like nothing (it must have been the holes)...

I am releasing my fearless forecast for V Day 2004. Next level na, game ka na ba?

-- Fancy restaruants and movie houses will be full to the brim. Patrons will include matrons and their men, old men and their girls (what sad stories!), hetero and homosexual couples, customers and their foreigners... Sadly, I do not fall under any of these classifications.

-- Flower store sales will reach its peak. The only flowers I'll be holding will be those in our garden and the arrangemnt on our dining table.

-- Chocolate supplies will not meet chocolate demand. The supply of boys willing to give chocolates will not meet its demand. I hope the deficit will not affect me.

-- Highways will be jammed with couples and honeymooners going out of town. Ok, I will join the jam... only because it's the only way to where I live- Alabang. Damn it...

Valentine's Day hasn't changed since '86. 2004 will not be different.

Valentine's Day is life's way of pulverizing your castle on a cloud. Kahit sa Cloud 9 ka pa... That's if you're single.

I am alone but I am not lonely.

At least I can dance the otso otso...

Too much has been said about Philippine politics.

But let me echo the words of a (once respected) comedian, "Kay daling tumakbo. Eh, paano kung manalo?"

May the candidate with the best otso otso moves win!

Sunday, February 8, 2004, lunch time, channel 21:

Marjorie Baretto: Claudine, how do you know Raymart is THE one?
Claudine: You know what, I was talking to Tita Angge (manager to the stars), and I was telling her, "You know what Tita, (aside from my family) Raymart (Santiago) is the only one who is really proud of me."
ME (thinking the TV could here me): Stupid stupid girl!

Why? Because it's love that is based something temporary- her success. Claudine thinks Raymart is THE one because he's happy for her, because he's proud of her career, because they're in GOOD TIMES. Now, for my 14.99 minutes of fame... I don't claim to be a love doctor or guidance councilor but something tells me that that type of love is not true love. Thanks to my English teacher, I learned that Elizabeth Barrett Browning once wrote, "...love me for love's sake..." In other words, love someone for love's sake and not for temporary things' (good times, beauty, mannerisms, pity, intellectual compatibility) sake. Another question, why not? Because these things change. They are not held constant.

Going back to Claudine, if that's her only reason for thinking Raymart is the one, then she's in trouble, darling! What if the day comes when her name will just be synonoymous to box office flops? What if the day comes when her face will give in to the pull of gravity? Will Raymart still be proud of her? If and when her bank account will be 6 feet under this country, will he still be there?

A relationship, if it is really founded on true love, will stand the toughness of the tides- failed botox, 0 bank account and all! It should even grow stronger. *Cheese!*

Now, if she could just read this...

Claudine would probably think, "Ako artista, ikaw..."

It's funny how I'm writing this entry. Never did I think I'd be writing so passionately.

I love you... I really do!

The first time I told my friends about you, a lot of them freaked out. Heck, even my mom did. They thought you were just too wild, too traditional yet, too attention grabbing. But of course they never had the heart to be so blunt about it. All my friends did was to be polite. They ended up just smiling and saying, "Sige, ikaw bahala. It's your call."

You're different, do you know that? You're one helluva stunner! You can be likened to a rainbow- a burst of color in this dark and dreary world. God, we are the perpect match! And yes, you are one of the few who can hug me. I really don't mind. You are a risk I wouldn't mind taking over and over again.

I've always told my friends that when I meet you, I'll be cheesier than them. I guess the past few days have proven that: I'm beyond cheesy. In fact, in school I can't stop talking about you. One of my friends even remarked that no one can interrupt me when I start raving about you.

I've been waiting for you for so long! I've been through others and you really are the thorn among the roses! You make all the difference! You bring out the best in me.

You are... everything I've imagined you to be!

Whatta whatta beautiful ball gown YOU are!

I can't wait for my first fitting!

After reading about 4 different blogs today, I've realized that there are infinite types of people as there are blogs.

There are some people who are quiet . Or at least project the quiet the image. They have various reasons for being so but one thing stands true for all of them- they are like ducks. They seem calm on the surface but are paddling very hard under water.

There are jologs people. These are my favorite ones because with them, anything and everything goes. You pretty much get a no-holes-barred view of life. Their rule of thumb is honesty because the fact that they are jologs means only one thing: they accept themselves (not totally) but to a certain degree so much so that they aren't bitter about who they aren't.

There are people who are loud. One of the most madaldal people I've met claims to have been very insecure back in high school. She was such a people pleaser back then, to the point that she lost contact with herself. But she found confidence in the nooks and crevices of college life. That was her silver lining.

There are also those whom I'd like to call the absorbing men. As the Parokya song goes, "I'm a sponge, I soak it up..." They opt not to complain. They shun the limelight and prefer to work in the background. I think these are the people we should be afraid of. Once they blow up, they really blow up! In spite of this, they shouldn't be dissed or dismissed.

Isalin sa Ingles: Ang dali maging tao pero ang hirap magpakatao...

August 10, 2003, 12 pm, eating fishballs and kikiam outside the Home Econ Bulding, UP Diliman after the morning session of the UPCAT
Classmate: Alam mo, bagay ka sa UP.
ME: (Thinking, sinong niloko mo? Hello! Anong laban ko sa mga katabi ko kanina?) Talaga? Haha... (laughter erupts)

Fast forward...
February 19, 2004, D DAY- release of UPCAT results
No, I did not get any congratulatory text message telling me I was accepted in the state university. No one called me or my parents telling them their daughter is now an "iskolar ng bayan." And no, no one came in my classroom shrieking and telling me that I can cheer for The Fighting Maroons come UAAP season.

February 21, 2004, 10.30 am., chatting over MSN
Friend: Hey! You were acepted in UP... Los Banos!
ME: Huh? How'd you know? Is this a joke?
Friend: No. I checked the site... You're now with the movers and shakers of society!

The events of the past few hours have made my knees weaker than usual. At the same time, I've reconsidered my college plans. No, I will not go to UPLB becuase I will be appealing my case to Diliman.

Everything really came as a surprise because I've been doubting my capabilities as a student the past few days. Let's put it this way, "To pass, I have to rely on my dilligence more than my intelligence." The UP acceptance is an affirmation of all the efforts I've exerted the past 4 years. This is delayed gratification for all the sleepless nights and failed exams. This is a pat in the back for all the college uncertainty I've encountered especially after the ACET results.

Now, I can say it with conviction, God works in mysterious ways. When a Jesuit University doesn't accept you, the State University will.

Now is the time the universe should consipre- please get me in to UP Diliman.

I once dreamt of walking the hallways of the Gokongwei School of Management. But a fateful January morning came and I was evicted from my Atenean castle on a cloud. My dreams were relocated to smoke filled Taft Avenue. It was unchartered territory but I was more than happy to give it a shot. My life was going on pretty fine. Then this whole waitlist issue in UPLB came along.

When we filled up our UP forms, I didn't take it seriously because I never thought I'd make it. But the events of the last 24 hours have confirmed the fact that I can make it to a UP campus- even if it's just in Los Banos, even if I'm just waitlisted. Yes, I am one of the many who are fighting for a slot in UP. I promised myself I'd fight a good fight. No way am I giving those other aspirants an easy time. I am pulling all stings required to get me in Diliman. But a semester in Los Banos wouldn't be so bad either.

Matira ang matibay. Sana ako yon.

Tomorrow, my mother will be calling the woman (Mrs. D.) who will make or break my dreams of being an "iskolar ng bayan." I don't even know her for cyring out loud but her word has the power to change my life. Being the control freak that I am, I hate the fact that I have no control over her decision making power. I also hate the fact that my hopes have been on an all time high the whole weekend! What pisses me off even more is the fact that pride is on the line. Shit shit shit... This is a one way ticket to perdition!

In my seatmate's words, " I am the queen. God save the queen."

High School in retrospect:

25% gimiks- inumans, nights-out, people's houses, secret soirees (that are never kept secret), BORACAY!!!
20% friends and other people who touch your life- siopitohs et al, section 2 and 3 classmates, seatmates you love, Fr. Edwin, arguments with my seatmates
10% school- mind blowing History classes, the psychological persepective on otherwise boring English lessons, debates
20% studies- cramming, studying talaga , feeling like I could manage exams with my stocked knowledge that wasn't stocked pala, surprising test results (near perfect and not perfect at all... 9/30, anyone?)
15% most valuable moments- college results, new mothers and babies, prom, retreat, school presentations- Filipino, cheerleading etc, bloopers
5% wisdom gained and lessons learned
5% shooting myself in the foot, fear and the uncertainty of it all

Total: 100% of the best days of our lives

inspired by star_girl's entry

UP update (newest section of my journal): snail paced development but I have found 2 possible contacts in the Economics department of UPLB

Dear Jovi,

Welcome to the world! We've awaited your arrival for eight long months. Although we were really excited, those thirty-two weeks were somewhat turbulent. You have every right to know what happened but your mom should be the best person to tell you about it.

On growing up... I hope you don't give your mother such a headache. You'll pretty much be a guinea pig baby until your other siblings come. Your mom still has to figure out the ropes when it comes to dealing with you. Afterall, babies do not come with manuals. I just hope you understand and not take it against her when she makes mistakes. Don't break your mother's heart because she will be your biggest fan, your #1 cheerleader, your tutor, your punching bag on your first heartbreak...

On going to school... Your education is the best inheritance you will receive. Just make the most of it because with it, you can be anything you want to be. You can be the fireman or the police man you read about in books or the pilot manning the plane you see everytime you look up in the sky.

On girls... Your name will be the word of mouth of many girls. In that case, please be careful with their hearts. Don't make them paasa or play with their feelings. Tell the girl (aside from your mom) you love exactly what you feel about her. Seize the moment and see the universe conspire to give you what you want. If things turn ugly, well... there will be other girls.

On choices... Always weigh the pros and cons even if its just in choosing your wrestling player in the WWE PS 2 game. After weighing the pros and cons, make a choice and stand by it with conviction. Sometimes, the route to take is the road less travelled.

Be a good boy. Cigarettes belong to the devil. Moderate alcohol intake is fine. Oh and yeah, follow curfew.